


Weakness and Strength

by stjarna



Series: Season 4 - Coda Challenge [16]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: All mistakes are my own, Coda Challenge, Coda Challenge @The FitzSimmons Network, F/M, Final Fitzsimmons scene in "The Patriot", Fitz's POV, I'm not sure what to think of it to be honest, Inner Dialogue, Kinda weird and depressing or something, Spoilers, s04e10: "The Patriot", unbetaed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 14:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9388280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stjarna/pseuds/stjarna
Summary: I've always felt like Simmons' is Fitz's strength as well as his weakness and somehow this feeling was particularly strong in "The Patriot".





	

He feels guilty for hiding it from her.

He wanted her help. Had _asked_ for her help. He wanted to do it together. No secrets.

They were stronger together. _She_ was his strength.

But she asked him to drop it, to let it go.

And part of him wanted to. Because he understands her arguments.

He knows that maybe he _should_ let it go. Maybe it _was_ too dangerous. Maybe AIDA couldn’t be fixed.

But he can’t drop it.

He built AIDA as a shield. For _her_.

Because he can’t live in a world without her.

AIDA _had_ to work.

Something went wrong.

He needed to know what it was.

To fix it.

So AIDA could be perfect. So AIDA could protect them. Protect _her_.

He feels guilty for hiding it from her, but he can’t help it.

He hears her voice, and nervously waits for the download to finish, before closing the vault behind him.

He looks at her, as they talk. As he lies to her.

 _I was just locking up AIDA’s head. For good_.

He feels nauseous.

He feels weak.

She was strong. So strong.

She was brilliant.

She had managed what neither Daisy nor Talbot had achieved: Get the Russian to talk!

She had survived six months on an alien planet.

She had survived torture.

She has survived an alien virus, encounters with far too many enemies, working undercover at Hydra.

Two days ago, she had knocked out a man twice her size.

He knows she can protect herself. He knows she doesn’t need him to save her. He knows she doesn’t need him.

And yet, he can’t fight his instinct, what has become his purpose in life, now matter how unnecessary it maybe was.

So he lies. Again.

And the guilt eats him up. Again.

But he needs to know what went wrong.

So he can fix it.

So he can keep the program going.

To protect _her_.

Her safety is what drives his obsession.

It’s his weakness. _She’s_ his weakness.

Something went wrong.

She asked him to drop it, to let it go.

But he can’t.

He’s not strong enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not quite sure what this drabble/ficlet/thing is. It just happened and I think I can't do better for this Coda Challenge, because I can't write something fluffy about it for some reason (even though they totally kissed at the end of that scene!). The whole Fitz lying to Simmons thing (again) will have to be resolved. 
> 
> I actually really liked the episode and I don't think it's ooc and I get where Fitz is coming from (not just him wanting to protect Jemma at all costs and seeing AIDA as a means to that end but also the fact that he doesn't usually fail and he needs to know what went wrong)... but goddamnit those two need to have a fucking conversation! Seriously! Despite the fact that I know this will blow up in his face sooner rather than later, I'm actually looking forward to the storyline.


End file.
